The New Darth Vader
by The Hobbit Lass
Summary: George writes a novel featuring his character called “Darth Vader”. Since George has already used the Darth Vader idea, the Star Wars movies contain a different villain instead, and this alternate villain isn’t quite so impressive...


The New Darth Vader

Disclaimer: Hello? Hello? Anybody home? I don't own Back to the Future!

This takes place around the same time the first Star Wars movie was released. Since this also takes place after the "Ripple Effect" occurred, Biff is obviously nice and humble, which is frightening. I just can't get used to the idea of a nicer Biff. Every time I see the end of Part 3, I always laugh hysterically when they show Biff scurrying around like a frightened animal.

* * *

George McFly walked into a bookstore and proudly looked at his very first science fiction novel, Visit From the Brain Melter. It had just been released that day. The main character was a villain named Darth Vader who came to Earth and melted people's brains with a hairdryer-like device.

Biff scurried into the bookstore with some car wax and a towel in his hands. "Hi, Mr. McFly! I just put four coats of wax on your car!"

George looked at Biff with a slightly disturbed expression on his face. "You actually came here just so you could wax my car? But I never even asked you to."

"I know!" Biff said proudly. "I followed you here and then as soon as you were out of sight, I went and waxed your car. Surprise!"

"Well, um... thank you, Biff," George said stiffly.

Biff got an excited look on his face and pointed at a book on one of the shelves. "Is that your new book, Mr. McFly?"

George nodded proudly. "Yes, it is. It's about an extra-terrestrial named Darth Vader who melts brains. I was inspired by an actual event that happened to me thirty years ago. Thanks to that emotionally scarring event, Darth Vader was born!"

"Well congratulations," said Biff. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'd better go wax that car out there. I don't know what butthead it belongs to, but I'm sure they'll appreciate a nice coat of wax. Tell Lorraine I said hello!" He scurried outside.

George shook his head. "Maybe punching Biff thirty years ago wasn't such a good idea. I believe I may have caused the poor man some permanent mental impairment." He got into his car and drove home. When he got inside the house, the family was gathered around the television.

"Congratulations on your new book, Dad," said Dave.

Lorraine gave her husband a hug. "I'm so proud of you, George. That Darth Vader character really is ingenious!"

Marty turned the television on and put a tape in the VCR. "Hey, dad, we're going to watch a movie to celebrate. Does Star Wars sound good?"

George eagerly sat down on the couch and looked at the television screen in anticipation. George literally worshipped Star Wars. He even had a shrine dedicated to Obi-Wan Kenobi. Every day he brought flowers to the shrine and murmured a prayer for the dead Jedi.

George was the only who had ever seen Stars Wars before. His family had never seen it but they were willing to watch it that day for George's sake.

Marty grabbed the remote and hit the "Play" button and the movie began. The five McFlys watched the Star Wars movie in silence... until the villain appeared.

The McFlys stared at the television screen. "_That's_ the villain?" Linda said skeptically.

On the television screen was a man wearing what looked like a big black sock on his head, and was wearing what looked like black flannel pajamas. He had a black stick in his hand and he whacked a couple of men with it.

"Fear me..." he said, "...for I am Chief Shadowy!" As he spoke, his breath made shrill squeaking noises, making him sound like a mouse on helium.

"That's the lamest villain I've ever seen!" said Marty.

"Your Darth Vader is so much better, Dad!" said Dave.

"Well, I suppose so," said George, trying to be modest. "I still don't understand how that Chief Shadowy guy managed to gain so power in the galaxy. Let's just fast-forward through all of the parts with him in it and only watch the good parts."

And that is what the McFly family did. All around the world, millions of people praised George's Darth Vader and were huge fans of the character. Chief Shadowy, on the other hand, was laughed at and ridiculed and the Star Wars movies did not turn out to be quite so successful as was hoped for.

And so that is what happens when George McFly writes a book. The movie industry goes into turmoil.

The end.

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Well, what are you waiting for? Review! What, are you... chicken? 


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